Child wearing corduroy Christmas tree pants on an 80-degree day: I have a baby in my belly. *sticks out belly*
Me: Oh? Is it a boy or a girl?
Cords: A boy.
Me: And where did he come from?
Cords: Nantucket. (pause) That’s how it got in there. It was a crumb, and then it grew up! *sticks out belly again* See how big it is??
Cords licked another child’s (already half-eaten) apple. He claimed it was because he’d never TASTED an apple with lunch before!
Kids say (and do) the darndest things.