Last year we got almost zero snow – which I’ve been crying about for the past 10 months – so when the weatherpeeps at home started predicting a small snowstorm headed our way, I said “GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH” and did a snow dance. However, in my old age I’ve started to realize that the rest of the world (or at least the rest of the people in my life) are not snow fans. Everyone else hears snow and they’re like, UUUUGH.
Luckily I have enough snow cheer to spread around all the land, so! I’ve put together this guide for all you snow-hatas to help you survive your next snow storm. In addition to following this guide to a T, I would also suggest a.) good snow boots b.) a gigantic fluffy down coat and c.) EXTRA warm mittens.
Step one: Grab the closest snow-naysayer and drag her outside. Make snow angels! Don’t throw a snowball.
Step three: Encourage someone else do the shoveling.
Step four: Make homemade Ben&Jerry’s ice cream with your new ice cream maker. Chocolate peanut butter cookie dough should do the trick.
Step five: Drag another snow-hata outside to make a snowman with you. When the snow is too fluffy to pack into a snowman, put a tiny snowball on top of a snow pile and call it a snowlady.
Step six: More hot cocoa. A good book. Bunny slippers. THE END.