Homemade Snickers Cookie Bars

I have a serious case of writer’s block, so instead of a typical blog post, here’s a list of random thoughts that are swimming around inside my head. And some delicious pictures of homemade Snicker-meets-Twix-cookie-bar-thingies (Mike suggested I call them Snix?). Enjoy!

Babylandia. Beyonce. Destiny’s Child reunion. Blue Ivy (where IS she these days???)

French onion soup in a crock pot (THIS IS NOT GOOD.)

Snow day (when the heck are we going to get one?)

First cold in 2 years (waaaaaaaaaah.)

Parenthood (recently discovered, now addicted.)

Last week’s episode of New Girl (say WHAAAAAT?!)

Thinking of getting rid of cable (say WHAAAT?!)

Babylandia (want to move there.)

Enchiladas.

Valentine’s candy.

Homemade caramel. Peanuts. Shortbread. Chocolate.

Yum.

Snickers Cookie Bars (otherwise known as Snix)

yield: about 24, depending on what size you cut them

Shortbread Cookie Layer (recipe adapted from alli ‘n sons)

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.  Line a 8×8 pan with parchment paper and coat with cooking spray. In a medium bowl, beat butter and sugar on high until fluffy. Add vanilla; blend well.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl and stir in flour and salt on medium until combined.  Press the dough evenly into the prepared pan. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the edges are just golden brown.  Allow to cool for at least 45 minutes before topping with caramel/peanut layer.

Caramel and Peanut Layer (recipe adapted from Ina Garten)

• 1 cup roasted unsalted peanuts
• 3/4 cups sugar
•  2 1/2 tablespoons light corn syrup
• 2 1/2 tablespoons water
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Sprinkle the peanuts over the cooled shortbread. In a deep saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, corn syrup, and water.  Bring to a boil and cook the sugar, swirling the pan (don’t stir!) until the mixture has reached a deep amber color.  Watch it carefully, as it happens fast.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan over low heat, bring the cream, butter, and salt to a simmer.  Remove from heat.

When the sugar is done, remove from heat and pour in the cream+butter.  Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon.  Cook over medium-low heat until it registers 244 degrees (just above “soft ball”) on a candy thermometer.  Immediately remove from heat and pour over the cooled shortbread.  Allow the shortbread and caramel to cool for 2-3 hours, until firm.

Chocolate Layer

• 1 cup milk chocolate, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon vegetable shortening

In a microwave-safe bowl or a double boiler, melt chocolate and shortening, stirring every 30 seconds until smooth.

Spread the melted chocolate over the cooled caramel. Place the pan in the refrigerator for 20-30 minutes to allow the chocolate to firm up.  When the chocolate has hardened, remove from the pan and cut into squares. Store and serve at room temperature.

Butterscotch Blondies

True confession: for the first three four five months that I knew Mike (pre-Facebook-official dating status), I stalked him.

I knew that if I left my class exactly at 10:05 and walked down a certain hallway at a certain speed, we would likely cross paths. I knew where he ate lunch and where he got picked up to go to sailing practice. I knew his favorite library to study in.

(This is the stuff Lifetime movies are made of.)

In fact, I knew his favorite chair in his favorite library. And I would sit directly behind it.

(I AM THE CREEPIEST CREEP.)

I would sit in that chair acting all indifferent like, Ohhhh…hey. You study at this library too? That’s cool I guess. 

And I would wait until he finished his studying and was packing up and super casually be like, Ohhh, are you leaving too? Wanna walk together? Can I carry your books? I know where you live.

You cannot make this stuff up.

While I was putting in long hours stalking (studying! I was studying.) at the library, I would get these amaaaaaazing butterscotch blondies from the library cafe. They were so dense and chewy and buttery and I easily ate one (or five) every day.

Flash forward six years, and I’m recreating the blondies in our kitchen. I give one to Mike to try and he’s like WHAT ARE THESE THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER EATEN DO NOT SHARE THEM WITH ANYONE EVER I LOOOOOOVE YOU.

OH, so all I really had to do to win your love was hand you a butterscotch blondie?? The very butterscotch blondie I was chomping on THE ENTIRE TIME I STALKED YOU???

Irony, people. This. Is. Irony.

If you’ve learned anything from me today, let it be this: if you ever find yourself in a stalking situation, don’t forget to bring baked goods.

Also? These blondies really are SO SO SO SO YUMMY DON’T SHARE THEM WITH ANYONE I LOOOOOVE YOU.

Butterscotch Blondies (adapted from Martha Stewart)

yield: about 16

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, browned and cooled
• 3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup butterscotch chips

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Coat an 8×8-inch pan with cooking spray (I line my pan with tinfoil before coating it with cooking spray for extra-easy removal).
2. In a small pan, brown your butter. Transfer to a medium-sized bowl and allow it to cool until it is warm to the touch. Whisk in the brown sugar, then add the egg and vanilla and whisk until smooth. With a rubber spatula, fold in the flour, salt, and butterscotch chips until combined.
3. Spread the mixture into the prepared pan and bake for about 40 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Don’t over bake these, you want them to be a bit gooey inside! Allow to cool fully on a wire rack, then remove from the pan and cut into squares.

Caramel Pecan Graham Squares

My dreams came true on Sunday. If you didn’t notice me shouting it from the Insta-sphere, THIS. HAPPENED.:

Oh just the tiniest 12-week-old baby Frenchie. WHOSE NAME IS BERNIE. With the nicest owner who let me pet that teeny little ball of wrinkle and take 10000 pictures and threaten to take him home. The stuff [my] dreams are made of, people. The stuff. Of dreams.

I apologize that this picture is blurry but I just needed to show you that Bernie is THE SIZE OF MIKE’S FOOT. His head is the size of a clementine. I AM LITERALLY LOSING MY MIND.

As in, I can’t think about anything else. WhencanIgetapuppywhencanIgetapuppywhencanIgetapuppy??? And also: grahamcrackercrumbscaramelpecanschocolate.

After meeting the puppy of my dreams (and eating an entire pot of fondue at Grendel’s Den), I came home and ate the best caramel-pecan-graham bars in the whole world and subsequently had the best Sunday e-v-e-r. Puppies + cheese + chocolate = MelsSweetLife ideal day.

These bars are whasssssupppp. They’re kind of a pain to make (ahem, homemade caramel), but I promise you they are worth it. I mean, can you ever go wrong with caramel and pecans and graham cracker crust and dark chocolate drizzle and a puppy named Bernie? Can you?

You can’t. So make these bars and and bask in their chewy caramel-ey graham cracker glory.

And think of Bernie. Always.

Caramel Pecan Graham Squares

yield: about 16 squares, depending on size

Ingredients

For the graham cracker crust**:

• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
• 1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
• 2 tablespoons honey
• pinch of cinnamon
• 1 1/2 cups roughly chopped pecans, toasted

For the caramel layer (recipe slightly adapted from Ina Garten):

• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/8 cup light corn syrup
• 1/4 cup water
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 2 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

For the chocolate drizzle:

• 1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 tablespoon vegetable shortening

*Edit: Originally I had noted that the crust seemed very crumbly, so I did some research and realized the ratio of butter to graham cracker crumbs was too high – I’ve reduced the amount of butter from 8 tablespoons to 5, which should solve the crumble problem!

Directions

1. Prepare the graham layer: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees (325 if you’re using a glass baking dish). Line the bottom and sides of an 8×8 baking dish with parchment paper. In a medium bowl, combine the butter, graham cracker crumbs, honey, and cinnamon. Press the mixture firmly into the bottom of the prepared pan to form a smooth, single layer. Bake for 25 minutes or until lightly browned. Place on a wire rack to cool while you make the caramel. Sprinkle the toasted pecans to form a layer on top of the graham crust.
2. Prepare the caramel layer: In a deep saucepan (at least 4 1/2 inches deep) combine the sugar, corn syrup, and water and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Continue to boil until the caramel is a warm golden brown color. Do not stir – just swirl the sugar mixture around in the pan. Watch carefully, because the mixture will burn quickly! While the sugar is cooking, bring the cream, butter, and sea salt to a simmer in a small pan over medium heat. Remove from the heat and set aside. When the caramelized sugar is the right color, slowly add the cream mixture to the caramel – it will boil up at first but should subside after a few seconds. Stir in the vanilla with a rubber spatula and cook over medium heat for 5 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the mixture reaches 244 degrees F (between soft and firm ball) on a candy thermometer. Carefully pour the caramel on top of the pecans/graham crust in the prepared pan. Put the pan into the fridge and allow it to cool for a few hours, until the caramel is set.
3. Prepare the chocolate drizzle: In the microwave or using a double boiler, melt the chocolate chips and shortening; stir to combine. Drizzle over the cooled caramel bars. Allow the chocolate to harden, then cut into squares (tip: it’s easier to cut the bars if they’re at room temperature, but make sure the caramel and chocolate have set before you start slicing!). Store in a sealed container at room temperature.

Bernie.

Halloween Candy Cookie Bars

A couple of good things happened in the past few days:

1. I finally bought Halloween candy. Never mind the fact that I live in an apartment building made up of only grown ups, because – much like my Frankenstorm prep – you can never be too prepared. Never mind the fact that said Halloween candy will certainly not last us until the actual day of Halloween. Never MIND the fact that there are 750 Butterfinger wrappers in my garbage can. Do you even KNOW how I feel about Butterfingers???? I want to hug them with my whole face. CHOMP.

2. MIKE PASSED THE BAR!!! This is very, very good news. We celebrated by getting a fancy drink in a fancy bar and congratulating ourselves on being grown ups and then hit up The Lower Depths and ate 500 $1 hot dogs and drank beer. Grown ups < not grown ups.

3. Frankenstorm cancelled school today!!!! I think this is karma for all the snow days we DIDN’T have last school year. Thank you, Sandy. Even though you have the saddest hurricane name.

4. Mike and I became addicted to Homeland and it is, to date, the only TV show we agree on. It’s also the only thing we’ve done in the past 4 days. IT. IS. SO. GOOD. Thank you, Showtime, for saving my TV-watching relationship.

So, anywho…I bought all this Halloween candy and said to myself, “Self? How can you add 4,000,000 more calories to Halloween?” And myself said, “Chop up your Butterfingers and Snickers and Kit-Kats and put them in a cookie dough blanket.” So I did.

Perhaps my sub-conscious is preparing me for the impending doom of Sad-Sandy? Like a chipmunk collects nuts for the winter, I collect calories in the form of cookie-candy bars for power outages. It’s biology. Delicious, delicious, biology.

Halloween Candy Cookie Bars (basic blondie recipe adapted from Smitten Kitchen)

yield: 16 squares

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
• 1 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup candy bars, chopped*

*I used my favorite Halloween candies: Butterfingers, Snickers, Kit-Kats and M&Ms, but feel free to add whichever candies are YOUR favorites!

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Coat an 8×8 pan with cooking spray (for even easier removal, line the pan with parchment paper and then coat with cooking spray).
2. In a large bowl, whisk the melted butter and brown sugar. Add the egg and vanilla; whisk until smooth. Add the flour, baking powder, and salt; stir with a rubber spatula until mostly combined. Fold in the chopped candy bars.
3. Spread the batter into prepared pan. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown and the center is just set – it will seem pretty gooey but the bars will firm up as they cool. Cool completely before cutting into squares.